CaraOakley.com

Being strong and independent is not easy. I am lucky because I am head strong and determined so these qualities have really helped me out. So much has changed lately, its not easy to get my head around everything. Staying occupied and active helps, thinking is not a good idea, so I avoid it, I watch movies and write silly ramblings on a daily basis ensuring I am positive and I smile, always smiling, its actually become a habit… so has smoking… which I need to address really. Change is good, its hard and often sad and upsetting, you always have doubts and for a long while you are likely to be scared. I hadn’t cried in a long time, but today I did, it’s been a long time coming and I hope is passes soon. For anyone out there feeling scared or sad, things happen for a reason, I don’t believe they happen for a divine reason, just because we are who we are and things happen no matter how much we try to avoid or stop them, they will happen and people will get hurt, its not easy and crying is okay. So cry, cry hard and when you’re done smile!!

Well I cannot actually remember how long it was when I wrote my last (boring) post. I have been listening to HIM and it seems to have got my creative juices flowing once again. I must thank Li for getting me listening to HIM, she has been a dedicated fan for a long time. I must say that I am intrigued by Ville Valo, he is this beautifully talented person who I would love to sit and have a few coffees with. I am not sure what it is about him but I am hooked on his music and will fall asleep every night listening to that deep Finnish voice, it soothes me and excites me at the same time. Should Ville ever see this - would you like to go for a coffee? Anyhow, now that I have that out of the way, it is time to continue with my yet to be titled book, it was steaming along but somewhere along the way I think life took up too much of my time. My need to write is back and have so many ideas buzzing around my head, I need to get them all down on paper. I am so pleased my creative energy is back and flowing, keeps me out of trouble.

So for now, good bye, but it will not be long before I grace these pages again.

So, there is this girl, she is 20 something, keeps herself to herself and has a dream. For her, this dream is a pretty big deal, but she is really scared of what might happen if she pursues it. She knows it won’t come easy, but there is this very real fear of failure, its funny but she even fears any success that might come her way. If she fails she needs a new dream, if she succeeds, what will she have to give up, what challenges are waiting for her? These are just a few of her questions.

This girl… she sees how other people have made a real success of their lives, it’s inspired her to make a go of her life. She hasn’t been living, she has merely existed, always taking the easy option and now, now she knows that something has to change. If there are so many successful people out there, who have followed their dreams, lived their lives, people who live with no regrets, who faced the fear, why can’t she be one of them!? She knows she has some real potential and so do the people around her.

Just existing is not an option anymore, years have been wasted, always doing what others expected of her, having no real passion for anything she ever did because it wasn’t what she wanted to do. It is a new year and its time for a change, a sense of urgency has awoken in her and she cannot fight it, she has a life and it needs to be lived. Starting today.

If you don’t have it DON’T SPEND IT, pretty simple really kids.